Last night I was reading The Polar Express to Sarah in bed, and it suddenly hit me that at some point in the not-too-distant-future, my children are going to find out about Santa, probably the same way I did–by some kid in their class. Noah has already encountered this in his first grade class, but he chooses to believe anyway. I know there is nothing I can do to stop it, but it still makes me sad. I know Christmas is all too commercialized with Santa Claus and all that stuff, and until about 7 years ago, I had become a bit of a Scrooge about Christmas. I dreaded it every year because of the insanity that always came along with it. But once I became “daddy”, everything was different. I now became that mythical figure known as Santa Claus for my children. And every year they get more and more excited about it. Of course it didn’t hurt that I married someone who loves Christmas as much as any child.
I can’t really remember how I felt when I finally decided “not” to believe, but I am dreading the hurt and sadness that will be felt by my children when they make that same decision. Will they feel that Lori and I have been dishonest with them and hold it against us? Will it send a signal that it is ok to lie? I hope and pray that the answers to these questions is “no”. I will trust that God will take care of this for me.
I can’t help the feeling that some of the magic of Christmas will be gone for me as well as Noah and Sarah when that time does get here. And maybe it will be for the best–so they can better understand the real meaning of Christmas. We’ll see how it turns out.
For now though, I will enjoy it while it lasts! I love my family! Thank you God for blessing me way more than I deserve!